Guarding My Heart More Each Time

Yet again…yes, yet again I can feel the tension in the relationship grow. Of course, this hasn’t been my first breakup. It's starting to make me guard my heart more each time. I have started to realize that guys don’t like commitment. They just wanna have fun. When they aren’t having fun or it’s getting too serious it’s time to let go of the relationship. It’s sad. I know… a little too well, but it’s life now. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how long you’ve been together nowadays it’s going to happen.

How can we stop this unfaithful and self-centered nation to remember how relationships are to be treated with respect and with unconditional love?!

As I said, “It’s starting to make me guard my heart more each time."

Who wants to go through life worrying whether or not he’s going to stay with you always or when he gets what he wants just to get up and leave? Not me, that’s for sure!

So, what are we going to do about this? Stop living in fear. Don’t go for the fist guy who takes and interest in you. Do your research. You can look but don’t touch. Don’t buy until you know for a fact there is no better deal. If you’re not sure… don’t settle. NEVER settle for second best.

I have come to this conclusion because I guard my heart a little more each time...

When God Writes Your Love Story

"I think we should break up," he softly said. Those were the words I'd been dreading for months. "I'm ready to start seeing other people."

My trembling fingers tightened around the phone cord, and I choked back a sob that threatened to explode from my tightening lungs. There was a long, awkward pause as he waited for me to speak. My only consolation was that he could not see my pale face. I would never have been able to hide my devastated expression had he been in the room at that heart-wrenching moment.

The nightmare had come true...again. What had started out as a harmless, fun, innocent relationship had slowly become complicated entanglement of emotions and passion, only to end abruptly now that the fire had ended. The cutting pain that ruthlessly squeezed my heart was so intense I could scarcely breathe. Somehow, I managed to end the phone call with at least a small amount of dignity. As I placed the receiver into its cradle, a dark cloud of despair overcame me, mercilessly pouring a violent torrent of rejection and hopelessness into my reeling mind.

It was over. Once again, I was in for a sleepless night of agony, hours of weeping until no more tears would come. Once again, I would have to face the aching, desperate loneliness of walking into a crowded room full of strangers-with no hand to hold, no strong arm to gently rest on my back and give me security. Once again, I was alone.

How many years had I longed and urgently searched for true love? How many nights had I lain awake, dreaming of a beautiful romance-a lasting relationship that wouldn't end in heartache?

I had made incredible sacrifices in an attempt to somehow cling to every short-lived dating relationship that came my way. I had given pieces of myself away to each man that came into my life-pieces of my heart, my emotions, and even my body. Yet once he had tired of me, my fragile heart would be played with and then carelessly tossed aside. Even if I was the one who ended a relationship, the heartbreaking pain was inevitable. Every time it felt like something precious was being violently ripped from inside of me.

I yearned to be loved and cherished. I had dreamed of a perfect love story for my entire life. But somewhere in the midst of the endless cycle of one temporary romance after the next, my dreams had shattered right along with the broken fragmented pieces of my heart.

I had asked others for advice. Those from the older generation had simply given guidelines to follow, which were so completely out of touch with the reality of my world that they were worthless to me. As a Christian, I had listened carefully to the instructions given by the church leaders, and tried to follow the Christian rules of dating to the letter. But their rules never protected me from a broken heart and shattered life.

When I turned to those in the younger generation, I found we were all in the same boat: an endless cycle or shallow and cheap romances that never lasted and left us emotionally bleeding and insecure. In fact, the pain I experienced was small compared to what many of my friends had gone through.

As I lay on my bed pondering these thoughts, I found myself inwardly forming a desperate prayer.

"God, where are You in this?" my heart cried. "I am Your child. All my life, You know I have longed for something beautiful. I have searched for true love. Does a pure and perfect romance even exist in this dark world of lust and perversion and sin? Should I even dare to dream of something beyond the shallow, meaningless, cheap version of love I've know so far?"

Then came a soft, gentle tugging upon my heart. Suddenly I somehow knew that my life did not need to be this way and that God had something better for me. It was almost as if God Himself was reminding me, I am the Author of true love; I am the Creator of romance.

A quiet challenge deeply touched my spirit in that moment. It was as if God was tenderly standing before me, with tears of boundless love in His eyes, whispering to my heart, You have searched for true love in your own way. But My ways are not your ways. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must trust Me with the pen of this precious area of your life. Will you let Me write your love story?

It wasn't too long after that tear-filled, hopeless night that my unforgettable journey began. It was a journey to discover something I never before knew existed- the matchless beauty of a God-written love story. More out of desperation than confidence, I invited the Creator of the universe to be the center of my love life. Did He disappoint me? Quite the opposite. I was soon to discover that my most faithful Friend in the entire world, who loved me more than I could comprehend, had a plan for my love life that would take my breath away with its beauty.

As for God, His way is perfect. ~ Psalm 18:30, NIV

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric & Leslie Ludy

Find A Guy Like That

Find a guy that makes you happy

One that whenever you think about him you smile and get butterflies in your stomach

Find a guy that knows the little details about you

One who knows each of your deferent smiles

One that loves you even when you're acting crazy

One that will hold you when you cry

One you can run to when you have a paper cut and he'll kiss it and make it better

One that when you're with him the world around you disappears

And when you look into his eyes you smile 'cause you see his love for you every time he looks at you

A guy that the conversation never dies

And even if there's silence, it's like you're still talking

Find a guy like that

Always

You always know what to do

There couldn't be anyone any better

When my heart's broken

You always help put it back together

Not with duck tape or superglue

But with your love

Chorus:

You've always had a place in my heart

From the very start

You'll always be my best friend

When everything's going wrong

You'll always be the one whom I depend

You'll always be my prince charming

And I don't deserve the love you're giving

You'll always be able to light up my sky

My eyes sparkle with excitement when you walk in

There's always a smile on my face

And everyone knows why

You always put a smile on my face

And a twinkle in my eyes

Chorus:

Tag:

I'll always be your best friend

I'll always be your little angel

I'll always be

I'll always be…

We'll always be best friends

One Last Time

Chorus:

I wanna hold your hand one last time

I wanna kiss your lips

And you to hold me close

One last time is all I'm asking

But I don't even have a choice

*

We're not together

We're just friends

But I hope you find someone special

May all your dreams come true

I don't want to stand in the way

But every time I think of you

Chorus:

I don't care what you say

I will always love you

You're on my mind everyday

Even though we're separated and apart

I still believe

We has something from the start

But…

*

Chorus:

One last time is all I'm asking

One last time

I wanna hold your hand

I wanna kiss your lips

I want you to hold me close

One last time

Just one last time…

Guess Who

I was minding my own business when this guy walked up to me
We exchanged names
And then he walked away
I really wanted him to stay
but I was left thinking that boys are all the same
They perk your interest and leave you wondering
What is he doing
Later, I was walking down the hallway and saw him
I asked myself, what am I going to do
I asked for his name but he wouldn't give it to me
I was like, "dang it" but kept on flirting...
Later that week guess whose hand he was holding
Guess whose lips he was kissing
Guess whose heart he was stealing
With those big brown eyes
And soft, soft hands
I just don't understand
How he loves me
It's so easy to see how someone could love him
But who deserves him
I know I don't
But guess what
He chose me

Inner Thought

Inner thoughts are personal
They can't be expressed completely
No one knows how you feel exactly
Inner thoughts are special
They are not shared
No one would even really have cared
Inner thoughts are magical
They can wander to places unknown
No one can ever say you're alone
Inner thoughts are logical
They are reasonable
No one can say they are infallible
Inner thoughts are systematical
They are not always orderly
No one will even understand in all honestly

So, in the end, inner thoughts can be written down somewhere but someone comes along won't understand the whole aspect of what someone is trying to say. It's just an inner thought!

Conversation with an Angel

Knees curled to her chest, she sits on her own
The world passes by on its merry ways
Voices near, she's surrounded but 'lone
Alone in a crowded place, as always
A friend draws near, jumps up to sit
A smile lights the face as she sees the eyes lit

The halo is battered, beaten and bent
The light is dimmed, the wearer's heart spent
To talk with an angel, it's a rare thing
A gift to be treasured about other things

The words flow for hours, the darkness falls 'round
The two girls lay back, not making a sound
They stare at the sky, a common bond between
The first starts to think, her thoughts clear and keen
She knows this is special, this time with a friend
She hates it when arrivals signal the end

The halo is battered, beaten and bent
The light is dimmed, the wearer's heart spent
To talk with an angel, it's a rare thing
A gift to be treasured about other things

They don't have to say it, their bond lets them know
They will remember, they'll never let go
Times such as these are few and far
These times will stay with them, no matter where they are

The halo is battered, beaten and bent
The light is dimmed, the wearer's heart spent
To talk with an angel, it's a rare thing
A gift to be treasured about other things

Dedicated to Raquel Marie Payne
Who could ask for a better friend?

By: Katelyn Johnson

Life

Actions speak louder than words
Emotions show the desire of the heart
And love is an action
But desire is an emotion
Words cut like a two edged sword
Heartache is apart of life
Letting it all go and forgetting
Is not possible unless it's forgiveness
Loving your enemies is profound
But it can be done
It is humbling
For the proud to realize they can't do it alone
Life is something we have to face
But for now
Patience is still a virtue
Love is still and attribute
We still have to love our enemies
Forgive and forget
Face our heartache headstrong
And realize we can't do anything alone